Today has been a complete doozy. My kids are all tucked in bed snoring, and I am sitting on my couch wishing for a do-over. I hate going to bed with that stomach clenched feeling because I had a mama-gone-crazy kind of day.
Yesterday, was a good day. I felt half dead with Bronchitis, but I sucked it up and took my kiddos to Applebees for lunch, went to a local Planetarium for a field trip, and then picked up a Starbucks treat for all of us on the way home.
I had no voice, running fever, convinced that I was dying- but by golly I was bound and determined that we were going to have a good day. And we did.
I think yesterday sucked up all of our good because today was horrific.
And it was mostly because I did not feel like doing the "mom thing" today. Isn't that horrible? Its true. All I wanted to do was lay on the couch (and I did) and play on facebook and not talk and not wipe hineys and not fix lunch and snacks and refill cups for the zillionth time.
I just wanted to lay there, with my zebra snuggie and sleep away my fever.
And those three sweet little youngins' of mine were NOT having it. All they did was fight and complain and whine and cry out for my attention.
By 430 I had had enough and got them all dressed and went to Target (I swear Target is my go-to to fix the grumpies). I picked up starbucks (um yes, that would be TWO starbucks in two days-I was having a rough week-what can I say? )and pizza on the way home and we had dinner outside.
And the fighting and the complaining and the grumpy attitudes died.
After putting Ansleigh and Anna Grace down for the night, Chase came and sat beside me on the couch.
"Mama, we need to talk."
"What about Buddy?"
"Mama, I think you hurt Jesus' heart today. You weren't being very nice. You lost your temper and you scared me. And that hurt my feelings."
How awful is that to hear? Break. My.Heart.
So I asked for forgiveness from him and then from Him.
I thanked him for coming to me when he felt like I had wronged him.
Because this isn't the first time that I have wronged him, and unfortunately it wont be the last.
This parenting thing is not easy (especially when you're sick!) . It is a complete die-to-self situation. Every.Single.Day.
Our Pastors wife once said the her daily prayer is that God would cover her in front of her children. That He would hide her sinful self from them, and that anything Good He would let shine.
That has become my daily prayer also.
Today I am so thankful for Grace and forgiveness. Thankful for love. Thankful
for these three. And so very thankful for do-overs. :)
(& this picture makes me laugh. It is SO them! )
